The great divide

This post goes out to everyone out there with a heart to listen. For people who are selfless and think for others more often than themselves.

Couple of days back while watching the box office 'In Time' this simple memory hit me on wealth disparity.

When I was younger, my dad like to bring me around to world to visit places which aren't very well off. We been up in the mountains to visit terrace padi fields, been down to valley to sea fish mongers, in the mountains to visit miners. These were places in China province which are not easily accessible to the public and it usually involves long train ride and road trip to reach. We normally head out there in our buggy and befriend a reliable driver along the way to get to these places.

When we were there people see us as if we were gods with lots of wealth even though all we had was a simple jacket and a trendy sport shoe. I could specifically remember a moment when my ever passionate photographer dad wanted to take a photo of these 3 little girls and those 3 girls were trying to avoid his camera lens. Not knowing what a camera was, they freak out when they appeared on the LCD screen of the camera. One of them stood up and made a deal with Dad that if he wants to take a photo of them, he needs to mailed at least a copy back. So my dad made that promise.

What's the cost of a camera? A little device we have stucked to each and everyone of our phone where we snap pictures of happy and sad moments to share with love ones. But for these girls who are young and wanted to remember that moment in time, had never seen a camera before. A train ticket to the cities is a luxury for these people, it is equivalent to a month's pay. There's no TV, no fridge nor a washing machine in the household. Their portable water are from the water wells. This disparity in wealth will be the same for the next century unless the wealthy do something to lift these people up.

One of the biggest thought that hit me was that if I put myself in the shoes of that farmer and wanted to become that charm smart looking city boy, would I ever be able to? By planting more seeds, by plough more fields, by harvesting more grains... will I be able to?

Hope the world can be a better place for everyone.

This is not my home.

In this place, where we often see backstabbing. Often see instructors march on your pride, where we hear how the most selfish people prevail and where we see good people end up in tears. Where our own ass are constantly in the spotlight and not our ability to shine. When things goes wrong here, fingers start to point, asses start to close and people starts to turn away. Only those who (claim to be the smartest) who have the cheek to be thick skin enough to step on others to get higher will shine. In this place, I would never want to try to be home.

Home is where there's a comfortable sofa, a cup of hot milo, good music with a warm ambiance is present. Most importantly filled with people who cares and loves you. Who celebrate your achievements. Who will help you even if it was a small problem. Who stands by you when you made wrong decisions and admitted wrong. Who hugs and kisses you when in joy. I've not felt real love in a long time and especially coming from a family so well knitted. Home is where mummy, daddy and sis is =).

I've been away from home for the longest of time. But this is not my home, not here. So let's keep fighting till the end.

55 days =). I can't wait. Let's fight.

I've been there

I've been there.
Soaring through clouds.
Having the earth on top of my heads.
With the heavens below me, with sun rays shining me from below.
Tumble, roll and flipping through clouds.
Flying at the speed of sound.
Getting close to the ground and dancing with the winds.
I tango with the birds and I was the king of the skies.

On my master seat I have gauges of all sort. I put will on my right hand and faith on my left.
They have been my friends ever since, we have been through thick and thin; low and high; fast and slow. The beauty of cruise, the touch of aerobatics and the finesse of accuracy, my 2 friends and I have been there.

So what's stopping me? I'm here for the best. To be on top of the world and nothing less. Beat the shit out of anything's that is stopping me. Don't stop me cause you'll be hurt. You'll only survive as my enemy. I'm limitless and beyond boundaries. No obstacles stand in my way.

I'm unstoppable.

Hello world.

It's always about sad news that's why I am here. To speak the words of truth and all that I need to confess, hoping to move on at the end of this self reflection.

One thing that is true. I have not been performing up to standards, behind my own power performance curve. My careless, non-meticulous and ill discipline attitude have been biting on my peak performance ever since the start. What they are looking for, is an X factor in me. Which I clearly lacked. A winner in me which will kill to win or do anything which is necessary.

I have a kind and passive personality. I don't like sucking up to superiors neither do I like being a person's dog. I need to have a deeper desire in me, a greater passion and a wilder fire. It is unsaid.

It's like liking a girl. No matter what she does, crazy or mad.. you'll still love her.

I'm in love with the freedom and discipline in air. For the anticipation and beauty of finesse aviation.

Keep going ALVIN!

Almost there

My number one lesson learnt from this week. Don't forget nature. Someday it'll come at you and tear you down. No life stands in its way, big or small, it brings it all down. People say humans are the most superior creatures but they forgot it was nature that people are relying on. =)

Dance and fly with the winds. If you forget the winds, you just lost the skill of perfection in flying.

Keep pushing limits. It's a test of your capability. You are strong and worthy. For will and honour. =)





Another version of "who you are" written by Jessie J

DRUNK

The feeling of having some liquid substance within you and feel like throwing up is wrong. The whole of today was spend on recovering from yesterday night. That lousy and wasted feeling. I feel like a girl for the first time, having cramps and reluctant to do anything else. Hangover the next day and proved that merlion do exist.

Never going to drink again, I'm fearful of alcohol now. It'll take a while before I'm going to allow anyone to influence me get a cup.

Now keep on track! =)

Disappointment

I am disappointed at myself for not performing up to the mark at the critical time but the perfect paint is out there waiting for me. Although all the odds are against the ideals but you've been fighting odds since you are born. So this is going to be a piece of cake in comparison.

Don't give up Alvin.

For yourself. For your love ones. For chow chow and the Ferrari dream. That's all I need in my simple dream life.

Feel comfortable and appreciate the changing of patterns and features. Relax and paint the beauty of aviation.

Gambette~!

Is there anybody out there living my life the way I do? Feeling the same way I've been?

Is there anyone out there...

Living my life just like me? Aiming my life purely towards success, pride and hope. Putting myself in a competitive environment where we dance to the music of survival. No love. No smiles. No truth. Lots of wealth, pride and future. As objective as scoring a goal in the game of soccer but work together because we are named "a team" and share a common goal. We play with the rules of a dynamic team, perform and put up a good show but never knowing how each another felt or worn the shoes of the person next to you.

Is there someone out there who sacrificed their freedom, who put away their youthful young adulthood for something they vie for. Whether is it to be successful, powerful, rich or prospective, left your love for sports, music, games or even hanging out with your besties. 

Oh talking about besties, where are you my dear Canoeist. Sometimes I really miss you guys. I miss the companionship of close friends and how we could tell one another's feelings just by the look of the face or the way people reacted. I miss the brother and sisterhood we shared.

If you are the person, you must be a rare breed. If you are not, I envy your life living in happiness and smiles. I've been reading (or stalking) a lovely couple's blog, one of which was from my College. Seeing their smiles made my day. I like seeing people happy. Especially when they are from the bottom of their Hearts. Truth of what they feel. No hiding, no shielding, no politically correct answers.

Is there anybody out there feeling the same way I do? In my shoes and waiting for happiness to come by one day?

My mind is so free, I can be what I want to be. No obstacles too strong. No road too long. In my mind I could do no wrong.

Gear up and pull up pull up!

Could someone enlighten me why am I still blogging? Such a boring life, going through routines of which seems the same everyday yet my blog count is still rolling.. If you are one of those anonymous person in that count roll, may be its time to hit the "x" or identify yourself!

Anyway, tag on that board so I really know who my readers are ^_^. It's been back to one of those days again when I start stalking some friend's random blog. Interested in reading whats going on in a person's life, whether is it tom, dick or harry potter. They are always an interesting read.

We hit the roads this weekend and went to satisfy our long deprived taste butts. Got to a Dim Sum restaurant and ate like a monster. Met into some trouble with a sneaky restaurant owner who refused to give 2 tables for a customer of 14. Got to squeeze like HAM JING PENG together in one table. We had to send a message of feeling injustice after being confronted by that HongKee boss. Paid off our bills and walked out of the restaurant cancelling all subsequent orders we have. Which really amounts to a ransom.

Got to Perth city and Dragon Palace Dim Sum was way better, with ace service of course. They had quality service rather than trying to rip off our wallets. We ended up with a bill of A$400+ for a group of 14 hungry souls.



Some city building


Asian food!!


One of those bills you dont wish to see


Retro babe


Skies made with love above us all =)

Hi again. I miss you.

Hello. Greetings. 

So here's one joy of my life since a very long time. Hi bunny, they call me that after putting on Long Johns and doing all those Charlie Chaplin moves to instigate the audience. Got the crowd hyped up with my bunny outfit at the expense of my pride and face. Oh well, all for laughs, there were much more we would have done to get people laughing. I have a great night and God knows what you can imagine what we have done.

Anyway its been awhile since I arrived and coping well with everything here.

Words of Emotions
I know it may sound a little emo from here onwards, but I need this form of release. So excuse yourself if you don't wish to see the emo part of me.

What I am about to share is something truthful, something from the bottom of my heart have felt but not being able to express it openly in my workplace. Or no one really wish to listen to this weak part of mine right here and there's absolute no one appropriate that I could share this with except here.. No one have that spare time or patience to listen out.
But I think people who are able recognize and acknowledge weakness are the people who would able to go furtherest, instead of not facing their weakness. Ain't going to run away from this.

I miss loving a girl. Having someone to love and think all day. My life is really down without having anyone I love or really really truly, madly and deeply insanely in love with. I am powered by love, it is the very essence how all human being's positive natural motivation comes about. I love my Mum, I love my Sis but that's a different kind of love.

The feeling of wanting to live with her for eternity, to make her smile forever, make her laugh, share all my god knows what weirdo stories with her, listening out to her rantings, share a common interest, walk the world with her together or touch her soft cheeks. I miss the feeling of having a special girl that means a World to me.
Although I never had a girlfriend but I once had (a bloody long time ago and not worth trying to recall those wounds) someone really special to me. I wish to have that again... to love her as if there were no tomorrow.

Honestly, as I was sitting through a dull lecture few days back, no information was going into my head although they were all very crucial. I had no life within me, no spark, no flame. Practically going through motions of the need to be there. We had a toilet break and I took a look at my friend's FB PM about trying to set me up with a person I have a crush on, my world just lit again. My heart skipped a beat when I saw that msg and started thinking of all the possible ways I could get to know her, could do things with her, could ask her or to make her laugh. After that toilet break, I was surprisingly energized and hyped out digesting all the knowledge that was taught. But that flame only lasted a few moments only coming down to Earth and coming to reality that its not actually possible with the distance and the "shy" culture Asian have. Ultimately, my friend didnt cared much either.

All I could do now is to pray. So lord, let me meet that special someone soon. I need that special person, let me bang to her into the streets, accidentally post a fb msg or whatsoever. Whatever means, how expected or unexpected it could be. If not I'll just be a dull hag until I reach uni in 5 years time. Ah crap. Oh wells.
I am not desperate, mind you =).

Trying with my best effort to put my thoughts into words, no confusions intended down here =).

Till next time.