From the top of the world to the valley of the deep

You know I started off being really shit hot. One of the cream of my crowd, aced every sortie.

Somewhere along the way I lost that touch, that feeling. That person who is feeling at the top of the world, being superior and always able to take care of others when myself is taken care off.

But my life is at stake. Failing one sortie after another. I'm feeling down and couldn't hold myself up. I'm needing comfort and love for some reason.

Falling shouldn't be an option from now on. 4 more short days only. Fight on!

I will not give up.

Sent from my iPhone

Pilot to tower.

"Pilot to tower. I am 300 miles from land. 600 feet over water and running out of fuel. Please instruct! "

"Tower to pilot. Tower to pilot. Repeat after me, 'Our Father, which art in heaven...'"

When u realized.

Humans can be very different but all of them have one thing in common - the spirit to win.

When we were still a beast, kings fought with one another for the best queens. In Olympics, we run for a medal, for a pride which seems empty but has everything to do with being superior. In exams, no one stands in our way when it comes to scoring in questions. In war, we only have one objective.. To kill or to hurt just to win.

Recently, winning have been channelled to become something else.
If winning means to court a girl, if wining is about having high alcohol tolerance, if the rich's favorite pastime is casino. Will u still want to win given even when u are from a background where sex is sacred, where alcohol is poison, where the gambling is seen as if a illegal activity. But mummy, they say it's part of a fighter pilot's life.

Peers who were good at those were indeed the cream of my batch. Marched on and progress at the speed of light. Otherwise, on the other side, people are seen as losers.

Right now, I'm here sitting under the stars pondering and reflecting. Weekends after weekends, wild nights and crazy things I've done.

I'll admit to all my readers. I've indeed changed for this "flare to win". I got a girl at the club just to prove to my peers I could hook up anyone. Got phone numbers after numbers when I'm bored of accompanying them to clubs but none to which i contacted. I've been in mess nights on Fridays drinking Guinness, Pure blonde and cold beer with instructors and chatting our sorrows and joys away. I've placed bets on the casino table and got $100 profit just to prove that I can win. I've done crazy things just to prove my capability, things I never liked to do.

But may be its time to stop winning and be a loser. It's not so bad to be a loser after all. Atleast you have a stable life instead a life filled with risk, close friends instead of surface fancy friends, a intimate girlfriend instead of many bar talk girls, atleast u keep your cash instead of giving all up in one bet.

I was never taught to be that kind of winner from the very beginning.

If you were given the chance to lead the life of a winner from this perspective, would you want this? High pay grade guaranteed and luxurious life. A bungalow with a huge car is definitely within reach.

Or simply... A simple life?

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The great divide

This post goes out to everyone out there with a heart to listen. For people who are selfless and think for others more often than themselves.

Couple of days back while watching the box office 'In Time' this simple memory hit me on wealth disparity.

When I was younger, my dad like to bring me around to world to visit places which aren't very well off. We been up in the mountains to visit terrace padi fields, been down to valley to sea fish mongers, in the mountains to visit miners. These were places in China province which are not easily accessible to the public and it usually involves long train ride and road trip to reach. We normally head out there in our buggy and befriend a reliable driver along the way to get to these places.

When we were there people see us as if we were gods with lots of wealth even though all we had was a simple jacket and a trendy sport shoe. I could specifically remember a moment when my ever passionate photographer dad wanted to take a photo of these 3 little girls and those 3 girls were trying to avoid his camera lens. Not knowing what a camera was, they freak out when they appeared on the LCD screen of the camera. One of them stood up and made a deal with Dad that if he wants to take a photo of them, he needs to mailed at least a copy back. So my dad made that promise.

What's the cost of a camera? A little device we have stucked to each and everyone of our phone where we snap pictures of happy and sad moments to share with love ones. But for these girls who are young and wanted to remember that moment in time, had never seen a camera before. A train ticket to the cities is a luxury for these people, it is equivalent to a month's pay. There's no TV, no fridge nor a washing machine in the household. Their portable water are from the water wells. This disparity in wealth will be the same for the next century unless the wealthy do something to lift these people up.

One of the biggest thought that hit me was that if I put myself in the shoes of that farmer and wanted to become that charm smart looking city boy, would I ever be able to? By planting more seeds, by plough more fields, by harvesting more grains... will I be able to?

Hope the world can be a better place for everyone.

This is not my home.

In this place, where we often see backstabbing. Often see instructors march on your pride, where we hear how the most selfish people prevail and where we see good people end up in tears. Where our own ass are constantly in the spotlight and not our ability to shine. When things goes wrong here, fingers start to point, asses start to close and people starts to turn away. Only those who (claim to be the smartest) who have the cheek to be thick skin enough to step on others to get higher will shine. In this place, I would never want to try to be home.

Home is where there's a comfortable sofa, a cup of hot milo, good music with a warm ambiance is present. Most importantly filled with people who cares and loves you. Who celebrate your achievements. Who will help you even if it was a small problem. Who stands by you when you made wrong decisions and admitted wrong. Who hugs and kisses you when in joy. I've not felt real love in a long time and especially coming from a family so well knitted. Home is where mummy, daddy and sis is =).

I've been away from home for the longest of time. But this is not my home, not here. So let's keep fighting till the end.

55 days =). I can't wait. Let's fight.

I've been there

I've been there.
Soaring through clouds.
Having the earth on top of my heads.
With the heavens below me, with sun rays shining me from below.
Tumble, roll and flipping through clouds.
Flying at the speed of sound.
Getting close to the ground and dancing with the winds.
I tango with the birds and I was the king of the skies.

On my master seat I have gauges of all sort. I put will on my right hand and faith on my left.
They have been my friends ever since, we have been through thick and thin; low and high; fast and slow. The beauty of cruise, the touch of aerobatics and the finesse of accuracy, my 2 friends and I have been there.

So what's stopping me? I'm here for the best. To be on top of the world and nothing less. Beat the shit out of anything's that is stopping me. Don't stop me cause you'll be hurt. You'll only survive as my enemy. I'm limitless and beyond boundaries. No obstacles stand in my way.

I'm unstoppable.

Hello world.

It's always about sad news that's why I am here. To speak the words of truth and all that I need to confess, hoping to move on at the end of this self reflection.

One thing that is true. I have not been performing up to standards, behind my own power performance curve. My careless, non-meticulous and ill discipline attitude have been biting on my peak performance ever since the start. What they are looking for, is an X factor in me. Which I clearly lacked. A winner in me which will kill to win or do anything which is necessary.

I have a kind and passive personality. I don't like sucking up to superiors neither do I like being a person's dog. I need to have a deeper desire in me, a greater passion and a wilder fire. It is unsaid.

It's like liking a girl. No matter what she does, crazy or mad.. you'll still love her.

I'm in love with the freedom and discipline in air. For the anticipation and beauty of finesse aviation.

Keep going ALVIN!

Almost there

My number one lesson learnt from this week. Don't forget nature. Someday it'll come at you and tear you down. No life stands in its way, big or small, it brings it all down. People say humans are the most superior creatures but they forgot it was nature that people are relying on. =)

Dance and fly with the winds. If you forget the winds, you just lost the skill of perfection in flying.

Keep pushing limits. It's a test of your capability. You are strong and worthy. For will and honour. =)





Another version of "who you are" written by Jessie J

DRUNK

The feeling of having some liquid substance within you and feel like throwing up is wrong. The whole of today was spend on recovering from yesterday night. That lousy and wasted feeling. I feel like a girl for the first time, having cramps and reluctant to do anything else. Hangover the next day and proved that merlion do exist.

Never going to drink again, I'm fearful of alcohol now. It'll take a while before I'm going to allow anyone to influence me get a cup.

Now keep on track! =)