Not always what it seems to be...

You see. These friendship are what I really wished to keep. But things aren't as simple as it seemed to be. When you have the ability to read the true thoughts of people, what they will do next, what they really want out of you, things don't get so simple.

But I really wish to be simple and be this kid I am whenever I am off working hours, live life simple. A true heart towards true and pure friends. I still want to be there for each and everyone who was here for me on this day.

Thank you =).

When you need someone close to talk to..

Crap Shit Idoit Chicken Backside.

I just failed meteorology. 2 more of this shit and I'm out of here.
Help =(.

There's a life your missing if you stay you'll never get it.

There's a life your missing if you stay you'll never get it.

What's a man doing when he's turning to the prime of his life at 21? In front of a pile of notes, in an all guy environment, with so much that's required of him. Huge responsibility, so much commitment, so much big talks about our characters. How we tackle minute things, how much small little things reflects ourselves in the future.

Where's the adrenaline rush that I once felt? That I loved riding on. That feeling of seeing the worlds prettiest girl right in front of your eyes. So gorgeous, you have been thinking of her night and day. All those thoughts of wanting to spend hapoy times with her. Generating a Dozen ways you can ask for her number. That amazing girl that turns you on when exams are coming, race are starting or when you are on the brink of death. Just at the end of all those trauma, all you wish to tell her is "I love you" or confess to her your feeling. I confess that I use to like she males but what's this gay tendency happening now and then. help.

Now running is just another feeling like walking. Exams are just like reading another book.
Booking out is just like going home everyday.

The ONLY thought I fell in love with is... flying, but I'm also a human who needs affection, love and attention.

Sent from my iPod

Revelation

Its a moment of unspoken words,

reflections.
self consciousness.

When truth prevails, all the world's ambiguity uncloak itself.
If you were made of water crystals, a rainbow smile across the skies.
But if you were just dust particles, a dark shadow cast over the streets.

I cancels out procrastination, excuses and all other form mask.
It's truth for itself.

When time stops

Ever since the day I shaved my hair and got ready for the most enduring journey of my life, I was ready for the worst. Similarly, my life stops there. In this period of Chinese New Year, the longest holiday I had since a long time, I woke up from my routine life, a life bounded by systems and rules.. I woke up for a moment feeling like a CIVILIAN. Just like everyone out here.

Time stopped on that day I chose to put my life on the line, to lead a life with a higher purpose. I've been really missing out a lot on life. Be it hanging out with close friends, going on a movie or go out with besties to do nonsense things, they have all been missing for quite sometime. I foreseen that this is just going to get worst with time, when everyone starts to go uni... it might be harder for me to click with them. I fear the loneliness, fear the ostracism and hate the me I've become sometimes. But what to do, they require me to be so hard, unkind and fierce.. from the hour i opened my eyes till I close them, I must behave like this. Oh, good thing they spared my dreams, I still will preserve myself in dreams =). Be soft, humble and sensitive like you always have Alvin!

Test are coming and I'm failing, after not holding a pen for almost a year, it feels awkward writing with one. Weird hand writings, slow critical thinking and incomplete thought process. My brains are having a hard time trying to be the me in college, totally like some secondary school kid. Meteorology is up next and don't fall short this time =).

Pull the jump shots and make the basket count, that was what jiao lian always shouted out to me.

Gambatteeee-ni!

This is life.

Weather and me.

Craps, after reading my past few post, I've realised that almost all of them share the same nature of content - personal emotional "espionage". So no more, this blog shouldn't be all about my unhappiness but also my thoughts. Happy post this time.

WX
Have been studying a lot lately, almost about anything and everything in the skies. So well, when you get information overload in classes, you tend to daydream and wonderful and awkward imaginations take place.

We were learning about the many different types of clouds and they are somewhat like choosing a girlfriend

.
Let's begin with the highest cloud at 20,000ft

The family of above 20k feet. Aka. upper income class, because they are "up there".

Cirrus clouds are commonly seen in Singapore. The slimmest and wispy amongst all cloud, made up by ice crystals (diamond lovers). When you give her "warm front", this girl is smoother on its surface. Clam as she might be look and tingle you, she can deceive you in a few hours cause a heavy storm is coming your way.
This kind of girl are pretty but materialistic and dangerous, in short are like high maintenance vehicle (HMV).... AVOID.

Cirrocumulus clouds are like little patches of cloth trying to cover up the entire sky. She is very organize and align herself neatly with other clouds of her kind. Similar with her sister, cirrus, she can't without ice crystals jewelries. However, even her being so neat, she is unable to shade the earth from the scotching sun. This type of girls, on top of being a HMV, are perfectionist to no results. AVOID.

Cirrostratus clouds is a thin layer cloud that covers a large surface area of clouds in the sky. Like both her sisters - Cirrus and Cirrocumulus - she love ice crystals. But she's different and known to be the kindest among her family cause she possesses a halo. When she directly covers the sun or moon, a "halo" is shown to be hovering over her due to transparency and light reflective (caused by ice crystals). She's the kind of girl I've been considering for very long... kind yet high maintenance. Yet, I came to a conclusion that without the sun or moon, she'll still be evil. AVOID.

The family of 6,500 to 20,000 feet. Aka "middle income class".
The middle class, unlike the upper class are made up largely of water droplets and vapour. Life's more practical and comfortable at these temperature.

Altocumulus looks like cirrocumulus as she is the cousin of hers but she's more bold and thicker. Just like her cousin, she is neat and perfect. Just that she has a bad temper, in a few short hours, it'll be thunderstorms and reign on you. This is kind of girl is going grab you at your neck and make sure you pay for small mistakes, when you get caught by her, marriage will be a prison. AVOID.

Well, Altostratus there's only one thing I can say about you. You cover the sunshine of my life. The whole world looks dark with you around, I was dull and boring when you came. When my craft flies through you, you create atmospheric icing and kill my wings, sending me to death. I hate you. AVOID.

The family of less than 6,500 feet. Aka "low income group". (not even term as "class". WTH)

Stratoscumulus Stratocumulus, I love you the most. I like it how you drizzle lightly on my head or block out the sun when I'm having a hard day. You have done good to many parts of mother earth by shielding the poles directly from UV rays. Because you are drier and formed up of more stable air particles, you always stay long enough with me. But sometimes you stayed too long that it gets on my nerves, it invades my personal privacy and my whole day's schedule is affected by you because you cause long hours of drizzle. AVOID.

Oh Stratus, it's just so hard to take a photo of you. Because practically, you take no shape. It was always hard to find you because you always play hard to get. You hide amongst mist and fog, shy to show yourself. When I'm you, I could hardly see. My poor visibility was because I was always blinded by your love. But why of all girls, do you have to dump me? I know I was at fault when it comes to figuring out where was your head or toe when I hug you. Nonetheless, when you left me, I realised how pretty this world was again. Good bye love.

Cumulonimbus is horrible. Period. You drenched me the instant we met. Electrocute me with your bolts and you are mentally unstable. AVOID.

The unclassified family. Exist from Earth's surface to 20,000 ft.

Dear Cumulus, thank you for providing me with such fair weather each day. You are puffy and cute girl that all guys loves. Love at first sight describes you. Despite you having unstable air particles within. I understand that you are the kind of women which keeps all the troubles to herself and absorbs all the stress and unhappiness, showing only the happy side of you to all around. But do not keep these to yourself for you might develop into towering Towering Cumulus then to Cumulonimbus and indirectly harm those around you with tonados, typhoons, hails and watersprouts. AVOID.

---THE END---

Not being able to sleep or eat are just the obvious basics.
Falling asleep and waking up are hell too.
Because you can't figure out how you and the person you love are to become strangers.
You can't even complain to other people.
Because they may badmouth her and him.
So, you cry alone.

It's ended, you've given up,
but only the memories of love come to mind.
But, the more you do that, the longer it takes to erase those memories.

So to a person who's been left,
365 days are spent in the process of breaking up.
But the thing that really hurts,
is the other person doesn't even seem to be thinking of you.

It feels like it's just you that can't let go.
That person seems to have forgotten all about you and is just happy.
All you want to do is die, but you can't die either.

Because you might never... see that person again.

And I keep asking myself..

Is it possible to make things better...

How can this be done without behaving this way?
Is there a less crude method?
How can we prevent everyone from arrowing one another?

It's not a solution that I can find, if not it would well be implemented.
Just continue living in such a harsh environment i guess, until my brain can come up with a good solution.

A vow before getting on the road.

In just a few short days, it will mark the start of an expedite journey. A path that many have failed and return to zero ground. If that were to happen to me eventually, I will take it with open arms and move on with life. Even if it is after 3 years.

It's okay even if I'm not walking the conventional path as all my other friends do. It is cool even when I'm only entering the university only at 25.

Here's my vow and resolutions to myself that marks my guiding star.
1. Never to look back again and regret on signing those papers.
2. Abstain from alcohol as much as possible
3. Remain smoking free
4. Entering the university no matter how reluctant I am after the few years.
5. I'm going to put in my 101% in getting my wings.
6. Don't worry about love, they can come later.

So much for self assurance =)