I'm in a rather difficult position now and seems like that the problem is going to persist for the few years.
What's my problem?
I'm having problems trying to fit in with my group of friends down here.
Why?
All of them are attached and has a girlfriend. No one really want to spend that extra commitment to understand one another.
So why not get a girlfriend yourself?
I very much wish to but I'm in an all guy dominant environment and I can't probably be desperate trying to get a girl just to make her my girlfriend. They say love comes when you least expect it to be.
Why not confide with your family members?
There are enough problems within my family so adding on oil to the fire may cause even more unhappiness to them =/.
So when I have problems, who do I find?
I tried talking to my JC friends, Secondary school friends but somehow everyone has their own problems and are quite reluctant to listen out. Or otherwise, do not get my drift cause it's rather hard to explain to them the complication of the things going on around here.
Conclusion?
I got to swallow of all these problems and try to solve them myself. Learn to be more independent. Till one day, I wish to share all the good thing with that special someone.
The above self conversation is rather emotional I recon but hey, I'm cornered to do this. Had tried finding many options to get a life out there but failed. So meanwhile I'll stay chill until fun knocks on my door.
What's up with me for the last 4 months? Practically everyday have been books and screens from 8am to 5.30pm, tons of test and essays. Research was a personal initiative but they are crucial to score. This was one of the few time I hanged so tightly on my limit and try to keep up. To make it worst, the environment isnt exactly ideal when you have objective friends and no family around to help you stabilize your emotion. Practically, I have been in hell, mental hell, trying to fit in and change myself to be useful. Now it's coming to an end but it's only going to get worst when I head overseas. Brace yourself for more challenges but always know the right principles when it comes down to vital decisions. =). Love your family, help the weak (provided they dont backstab you), do things for a good cause and credits are just a bonus.
INSPIRATION
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| Dian Liang Xing Fu Wei Liang - Zhuang Jing Jie |
"God gently closed my eyes, but to open my heart happy to see another
window. In the past, my eyes were open but my heart was too blind to feel love
上天轻轻地关上了我的双眼，却打开我心中另一扇看见幸福的窗"
I came across this book written about this girl named Zhuang Jing Jie, introduced by my mum <3. She had retina degradation at age of 13 when she unfortunately was involved in a car accident. The accident blinds her world and she could only physically see objects within 10cm of her focal cells vision. It was a no cure injury that impedes her learning.
She would require to sit through an exam 3 times longer the duration of a normal person due to the visual impaired. She uses a bino on the black board and a magnifying glass when writing essays. She only sleeps a few hours a day to keep up with school works. But it did not stopped her from pursueing a honours degree in engineering which put her at the position of any other normal person or even better.
I am awed by her optimism and cheerfulness to pursue better life.
A person's character are somehow shown on their faces. You could be the ugliest person in the whole wide world, but I think the most pretty people in this world are those people with a pretty heart =).
I hope to earn big bucks and helped those in N.A. to find hope through love. Cause love is probably the only way to cure all those injury or hurtful and despising eyes towards them. Don't forget this dream ok?
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