I hope someone out there could feel what I'm feeling.

Hi Blog.

The lonely days are getting lonelier.
It's like there's no friend when it comes to fighting for our future, I give up on my organization long ago, lost my purpose in working for it. Totally disappointed cause most of the time people do things as an defensive act to protect their asses rather than a friendly act to improve things or as a beneficial ideals to innovate. Good people gets utilized and warn out, while bad people rose sky high and created their empires. Mum have always taught me that if you don't like a certain behavior towards you, don't be like them. But I'm tired of staying on the good side and getting bullied. There's no credit in being Mr Nice over here. Stones everywhere, fingers always pointing. A simple problem or task that everyone tries to avoid. A cost that was not paid by the responsible people. I can bare to see no further. There was no way I could reason things out to myself how it happened the way they happened.

In this land of kids where people play hide and seek, where kids rules and adults are treated like prisoners, I can bare to see no more. Strings every where, tongue shoe shiners and under table handshakes. When you heard of them, you can do nothing but shake your head.

They say if you can't beat them, you can only join them.

I'm going to be strong at the end of all these and survive every single moment of this. I'm here for my salary and go to a good home.

To my future wife and kids, will you blame dad for not being able to climb higher on his career for the morals that he cannot cope with? Gonna be smarter in my next course, outwit all these competitors around me and know how to protect myself more. I'm tired of seeing good people dying.

It's a lousy feeling to be outplayed by politics. I hate to loose, more than I ever want to win.