THE REAL ME.

Hi world. Raising my hands up, put the other on my chest. Shouting out to the world who has a heart to hear me and admit to the world... that I’ve not been myself.

Finding a meaning or a reason in what we are doing. Circumstances brought us to where we are, will filtered us to what we wish we were, and in the end reality is most likely what we end up with. Finding a reason to live with reality… will take a little more time and self adjustment?

Guess we must somehow always try to find ourselves in what we do, even when our destiny are something that we didn’t wished for, or otherwise, we should try to see the truth or the meaning in it?

So we could feel our actions from the bottom of our hearts and not to fall into a trap of our own to live day by day..  Subconsciously.

What had happened to me this one year of being away from home?

I want to admit that I’ve done wrong.  Realize that I’ve not been putting down my transparent human shield, this shield that I’ve held on for a year without family. Living in a work environment for so long, I seemed to forget what it feels like to be… home. What happened to the previous Alvin who is kind, genuine, careful to details and who always thought of others more than himself? Circumstances have put me in a place where 

I’ve to think for myself to survive. Learn how to put down this big shield, this wall that have been preventing others from loving you, hurting people who cares for you.. Be humble and tender towards people who really loves you. Yes they still exist =), definitely. Open up your heart to these people and love them with tenderness, let your hearts interlink. Learn to trust again. Believe in goodwill. In that moment that felt like forever.

Don’t hide, cause it makes it harder for people to find you. Don’t hide for people love you. Don’t hide cause all you ever really wanted was to be found.

Be yourself. Be you. Love yourself more Alvin.

Take care my diary.

That pink sunsilk scent..