7 days passed and everything had been a paradise.

Be it the food, company, entertainment, rest, weather or even the hot girls, I'm living in heavens. Too good that I feel spoilt and keeps me wondering it's changing me for the worst.

There are clear view of the horizons, the mountain ranges from east to west.

We had beer cause every friday evening in australia is a beer happening moment.

Although it looked awkward for orientals to be in a western culture, but as time pass by, we fit in naturally. I made 15 new buddies who talk cork sing song together. Somehow, I feel that we each came from similar background and that's why we can connect to each another so easily. More to come in the following week and it's only going to get tougher. Keep my cool and do the right job =). Believe in the lord. Entrust to him my worries and fears, all will go smooth with the wind.

The other day we had this self-introduction sharing session at the bar and some of them mentioned that they were getting engaged soon. Engaged the age of 25? But isn't a bit too early? For 19 and 20 year old like me, I was caught off guard when this topic came up. It wasn't one person who was planning on an engagement, it was THREE. Best of all, they had their girlfriends since 5 to 6 years back. Doush, where do I stand man, I have no plan in mind at all. Laggi best, I don't give a damn. Haha.

It's so easy to get emo when you have a room to yourself, especially so when it's so silent and quiet. You start thinking about life, about the past and your mind wonders off to some funny moments you had in college. Let out a sweet smirk and stare at the ceiling wondering how's that person. I miss your smile, I miss those times I tried hiding from you and looking at you from a far. Having perfect eye sight gave me the ability to look at people from a distance before they actually noticed me, so it's kind of a habit to pretend not to be looking when I was close. Haha.

I'm turning back into a kid again, man what have this place done to me.

Anyway, those were things of the past, spilled milk that shan't be cried over. =).

If I fail, I'll be in time for college day and most likely see you. But that's not going to be the ideal case right? I should come back in my white knight suite to congradulate the princess. Blehh... Let's have you be my motivation once again. +). To see you again next time when I'm ready and good. Dress in shining white amour and a cool horse. Not college day, probably another time.

I'm in my own one-sided fantasy land.. la la la la la la~

I'm sure no one will read this since this blog is so dead alr.

They have beer syrup here! How cool can things be? Haha.

I'm growing fat with every counting day cause life here is too comfortable. Weather is perfect for breeding a big, fat and white me. The food here contributes all the more to this constant progressive growth.

Things are getting rougher, stress levels are building, requirements are accumulating and self-confidence is trembling.

It’s naive but I’m starting to question if I’m able to perform at that level, questioning my personal attributes.

Keep my prayers alive and hope for a miracle. If it’s my calling, it will be answered.

I do not ask for a perfection neither do I want to be the only one who prevails, I would just ask God to be who I am and what I’m destined to do.

I need support. Mutual support from someone special, to give me that special motivation but in these single rooms we checked in, there are only these 4 walls and me.

So awesome and strange these four walls are actually teaching me independence. Stand on my own even in times like these.

A pretty cup of clouds seen on my way here.

I know some where on this land you are having fun. Whether you acknowledge it or not, can you fly with me? It feels better to have you around.

It reads..

"Because I fly, I laughed more often than other man,

I look up and see more than they do,

I know how the clouds feel,

what is it like to have blues on my laps,

to look down on birds,

to feel a freedom in a thing called stick.

Who but I slice between God's billowed legs,

and feel them laugh and crash with his step?

Who else has seen the unclimbed peaks?

The rainbow's secret?

The real reason birds sing?

Because I fly, I am the happiest man on earth."

-By anonymous.

I'm wondering why I only see her in my dreams

Feeling of wanting to be wanted.

Looking at pictures of others, with many friends and family surrounding them. I started to feel a little lonely. Girlfriends and boyfriends sending them off, I wonder why am I so lonely all by myself. I feel like loving and be loved at the same time..

I want to live for someone. Someone that I won't mind dying for and want to protect. A motivation for me to carry on thus forth and live beyond life just for that one person.

Damn feelings, stop haunting me please.

So begins my first virgin clubbing experience.

Don't take it personal that I'm making a big fuss out of it but because all my friends have been asking me out to club and today was finally the first..

Set off my house and saw u.d.d.e.r.s. ice creams right at my doorstep! Newly opened! Finally, some competition for the ever crowned champ ice cream chef, which seemed to run out of toppings to go with. Icecream would be much more of my choice as compared to clubbing. Tempting but nope nothing's going to prevent my foot from landing on e club's door cause it's going to be my frist time.

While taking bus 12, i passed by boring shopping malls and lonely roads at 2 hours before midnight. Yet, when i finally arrived at clarke quay, everything is a happening down here. From the showcasing of live telecast world cup at pubs to the chatterboxes in the restaurant, cheers and jeers every where. Screamings coming from the buggy ride and also from this spoil spot suicide attempt drama that i witnessed while walking towards the club.
A lady (i wouldn't exactly classify her as 'lady' for what she had done) dashed onto the road in attempt to suicide while screaming at her boyfriend. It appears this lady was being ignored by his boyfriend but come on, you can't possibly commit suicide just to catch a boy's attention?! For every time that she hops on that damn road, she just cause a series of cars to jam brake. Why would you possibly go so far for a guy? Just give up and find a new one will do, ending my life just to catch his attention? Why don't try buy a lambo instead, he might even cry his gut out when he sees one. Nvm, the important thing is that no one got hurt in the end.

I hesitated at the entrace for a while looking at those drunk and old chicks. Yeah, they look hell uncool.

Blasting speakers, blinding lights, elusive smokes fills the entire dance floor. A big bottle of chivaz(1.5L?) awaits the 12 of us. I mean wth, i'd probably only touched 1 ounce of that giant before, they expect me to tar even 1 cup of that. The speakers are worst than supersonics of aircraft, going at high pitches and blasting wave after wave. Definitely the place if you like to fracture some bones. My ears are nearly deaf and i couldn't take long hours of this. So i'm here now typing this along the quiet and smooth singapore river =D.

The police came to raid the place and we were chased out for about an hour. Cool shit. Wonder CY's around but I didn't manage to catch a glimpse of the raiders.

After they left, the clubs is back up agagin. My eyes are permanently stained by short skirts and thick eye liners. Why don't they just wear basketball shorts and be simple looking, they'd probably look a lot more prettier. Guys must be out of their mind to appreciate such beauty. Speaking about my friends, they manage to get 3 'chicks' sitting with us on our table which is totally disgusting. But i must act as if they are welcomed if not they'll otherwised be 'scared' away. Gosh.

So much for the first time. I was really trying very hard to like it, but it's definitely not my cup of tea. Clubbing is like disneyland, they mingle with your senses through audible, sensational and visual means. Except that clubbing is a total mess while disneyland gives a sweet after taste =D. My analogy. Haha.

Prettiest scene of the night

Check out the reflections of river!

A rocking life.

Flying off in a pretty short time and enjoying every moment of my national serving terms. 24/7 we are obliged to study this stack of notes where we have to drill and digest every single important procedure into actions which we are taking in the coming series of flights. Practically, no one will enforce rules that we study so it's up to our own self discipline to get those theories into our heads.

In these 2 weeks, I've got to know 18 wonderful souls. Each of whom has a funny and interesting character =). Most importantly, we are happening and lively people.

However, in this lively atmosphere that we live in, lies a formidable threat that cruelly chops people. Just today, 3 of us were being chopped because of negative backbone xray scan results. Imagine studying so hard for something so memory intensive yet getting chopped because of health related issue (not even a slight chance of getting it corrected) and there's nothing much you can really do about it. As all soldiers call it.. SUCK THUMB.

I won't be surprise if my phone ring one day and informed me that I'm chopped, since I've been playing intensive sports all my life. Pilots are born.. not trained. So if it's not my calling, it never will be. If it's my calling, then it will be. =)

To digress a bit, when I signed on those dotted lines, I realised that I will probably be bound to wear a uniform my entire life since I just extended my service term by 12 years.

This is not drawn by me! But it looks like the jet we are going to fly. =)

FAREWELL JEREMIAH!

A fresh new adventure. Life. Experience.

So this is my life now. Upon getting out of bed at an early hour, every morning I will join the rush hour traffic to get to Tiong Bahru just to study this. Checks, radio calls, manoeuvres. After lunch, it'll once again be.. study study study and finally check out. Isn't this totally like college or university, less the girls that is. On top of theories, we'll have our practicals pretty soon next week where we get our hands on simulators.

Everything that is going around me now is like a dream. I woke up doubting that I actually got selected for this job, slap my cheeks and look myself wide in the eye asking myself.. "HOW DID YOU END UP HERE?" I swear I won't want to wake up from this dream.

Well, although it was hard to be qualified for the preliminary criteria, it's even tougher to pass the upcoming flight tests. Like out of 13.. only 1 will pass? Chances are not optimistic for now so I'll still hold on to the pessimistic perception while I mug hard for what's to come. Nonetheless, when an opportunity pops up, it's hard to leave it alone, so I might just as well make full use of this chance and give it da best shot.

They asked me. So.. why do you like flying? I said .. cause I love speed and manoeuvring in them. As simple as that =).

I've got the gift of pilot eyes, so must as well just put them to good use. As compared to sitting in front of the office desk writing account books like accountants or drawing blown up charts like engineers, this job will be much more meaningful and eye opening. I just can't see myself doing an office bound job for the rest of my life so this might just be the thing for me.

If it takes a boy to dream about planes, it'll take a man to live that dream =).

Impossible. I'm possible.

无论是生活上最艰难的苦恼或面对死亡, 珍惜生活上的 每一分每一秒就足够了.

The danger about living in the past..

Instinctively, probably out of emotions or general need for love, comfort or acknowledgement, we turned towards our past, recount and live within them.

Past love, past happenings, past happiness, past buddies, past decendants or things we had and lived with them in joyful moments for a period of time.

Unconsciously, those memories had became an avenue where we seek fulfilments or our own peace of mind. Being in these thoughts for too long impedes us of the joy we actually have around us, the present opportunities we missed because we have always lived in the past.

I have lived in the past for too long, be it love, accomplishments, results or close friends I've made, they have been circling in my head. I'm always missing happy times I had with the canoeist that I've been missing out the fun I'm having with my buddies around here. Always thinking about my primary crush that I'm missing out on better girls all around. Always indulging on my double gold that I don't get motivated to aim for anything more in life.

My present bunk buddy made me realise on this weakness of mine by being on himself. On the first day when we first introduced, we spent most of the time talking about his previous buddy. As much as I do not want to be affected by it, it just comes to me to try to be like his buddy-in replacement of the good buddy he once had.

It's dangerous to live in the past simply because it deprives of living in the present moment. I regret for all the things, friends or girls I've missed during these years. It's really shameful to have past them without noticing them..

About time to take another step forward and start on a whole new adventure once again =). Let's start fresh from now on diary. =)

My dad took this photo and I think it's awesome! Love the clouds above Singapore =).

We helped a tourist to search for the cookie factory at esplanade today =D.

The uncle on the taxi.

With my 40kg worth of equipments and gears, I packed my bags and left the place I have been for the past 6 weeks. Halted a taxi and sat from one end of the island to another.

During this journey, I had a long conversation with the taxi uncle. He recognised that I was a cadet when I was dressed in my 'penguin' attire and gave a long conversation about his army days. He complained about his officers and we both talked about our experience. Over the conversation, I realised how important are officers supposed to be competent, keeping ourselves constantly on the ball. Failure of doing so, will cause men like him to suffer. These people are good men, man who supports their family and stay loyal to their kids and wife.

Although being much younger than he is and probably less experienced than him, he showed so much respect to me. He carried my baggage all the way to the lift and even gave me discount on the cab fare. I didn't know that this job holds so much responsibility until this moment when I see it with my own eyes..

I'm touched and more importantly reminded about how much my orders in the future affect the people under me. Their lives, their morale or even their families.

It's about time I post again =).
Time flies and it's almost 4 months since I enlisted and this is the first time I got confined fined for my weekend. Being us, we must honour our weekends cause it's the most precious part of our training - rest and relax! So yup, it feels shitty having it taken away.
In order to kill time, I layed on my bed and started thinking about many logics in life and here I present to you about my thoughts. Lame, funny and somewhat humane or prudent.

How well do you know me?
Yeah, how well do you know me? How do you know you can work with me? How can I trust you?
If someone asked you these questions, what would be your instantaneous reaction? Your first reaction might be, I know your habits, character or simply saying.. yeah I know you well, well enough. Through our instincts we answer this questions by providing positive answers that comes to us about this person that's asking us this question. Today, I finally realized what does it meant by knowing a person, about how good you are with him/her.
As us being ourselves everyday, most of us have grave weaknesses since we are born and most of which are tough nuts to get rid of. The best way to understand a person would be understanding their weaknesses and protecting them from it. Having a buddy here made me realize this. So knowing his weakness, I must try to protect his back side.

Girls
You know when sometimes people say that you'll only treasure things once you've lost them? Girls or ladies, that's one important factor that is missing in all the botak head's life. Somehow, being deprive of being contact with the other gender makes a person yearn for more. I have never been so fond of talking to girls, back in school life the amount of talking I had was minimal and now it's like I'm making use of every opportunity I have to conversate to one. I want to learn more about them, talk to them and share with one about all my happenings. Feels good to be talking to one some how. Never had I been so fond about their company and it's kind of weird for this sudden burst of confound interest. Yes, I know I sound desperate and not to that extend which sickos are thinking of. I feel flirtatious for now and I think it's a good thing =D. My MJ friends say I'm a changed person and I totally agree man. What's why the alvin now? Damn right cool =).

What's for life?
First thing's first. I'm not exactly the kind of man who like money and fight for a living by earn mountains or billions of cash. Neither the kind who likes being a CEO or one who work extra hard for commissions or thicker pay slips. I don't wish to work in a profit organisation when I grow older. So my career choice is rather small with so few non-profit organisation in Singapore. I want to be part of the Humanitarian disaster aid relief and take part in operations that recover lives, save them and heal them. Yes, I'm not a doctor but I've got eyes of a pilot. This is my calling and I believe what comes easily are usually god sent. =)

I hit 8.30s for 2.4km. 8.15 is just 15 seconds away! I WANT TO HIT 8.15s!