THE REAL ME.

Hi world. Raising my hands up, put the other on my chest. Shouting out to the world who has a heart to hear me and admit to the world... that I’ve not been myself.

Finding a meaning or a reason in what we are doing. Circumstances brought us to where we are, will filtered us to what we wish we were, and in the end reality is most likely what we end up with. Finding a reason to live with reality… will take a little more time and self adjustment?

Guess we must somehow always try to find ourselves in what we do, even when our destiny are something that we didn’t wished for, or otherwise, we should try to see the truth or the meaning in it?

So we could feel our actions from the bottom of our hearts and not to fall into a trap of our own to live day by day..  Subconsciously.

What had happened to me this one year of being away from home?

I want to admit that I’ve done wrong.  Realize that I’ve not been putting down my transparent human shield, this shield that I’ve held on for a year without family. Living in a work environment for so long, I seemed to forget what it feels like to be… home. What happened to the previous Alvin who is kind, genuine, careful to details and who always thought of others more than himself? Circumstances have put me in a place where 

I’ve to think for myself to survive. Learn how to put down this big shield, this wall that have been preventing others from loving you, hurting people who cares for you.. Be humble and tender towards people who really loves you. Yes they still exist =), definitely. Open up your heart to these people and love them with tenderness, let your hearts interlink. Learn to trust again. Believe in goodwill. In that moment that felt like forever.

Don’t hide, cause it makes it harder for people to find you. Don’t hide for people love you. Don’t hide cause all you ever really wanted was to be found.

Be yourself. Be you. Love yourself more Alvin.

Take care my diary.

That pink sunsilk scent..

*snap*

I'm going to press pause at this point in time and enjoy this little moment I have at this very moment in time. Write a note to commemorate what I've been going through all along.

All my friends are out there enjoying their uni life, fun they have... eating, drinking, socialising, companions, sporting activities. While here I am day by day, preparing for flights, reading up on knowledge, aircraft systems, weather.. Preparing on restrictions. Drawing a trainee payslip and seeing the same old faces for the past 2 years.

Days here only gets tougher, from the time we step in till they time we put our heads on the pillow, its non-stop survival instincts, non-stop taking in of knowledge, non-stop management of problems. Time management and task prioritisation is part of our bread and butter.

Many people envy us for what we do, but many of our kind are sourcing for ideas to find an escape route.

Let alone all the stress, unhappiness in here, I'm just glad I have a good and stable job. Let away the politics, competitiveness, hectic schedules and high level of time commitment, my eyes have actually one of the best views on earth. The ticket to be forever a little kid, fly boy they called it. Seeing cars as if they are toy cars, birds as if we are dancing together, clouds which manipulated with us, the ever changing details of civilisation. How over time colours of trees changed, how the seasons changed with wind, how the power of being flexible and versatile is such a beauty.

This moment in time where I had a good grade for my check flights, leading my course, had a comfortable personal time cause of my horse, have a really pretty girl, sufficient sleep and not having anymore maggie for lunch.

I'd just like to thank god for the tough times, that made it so sweet to live these days I have now. How lonely and dividing it have been from a normal person's life. Thanks for injecting interesting things every now and then to make it exciting :).

Feelings

Truth for Feelings.
Compromising for Truth.
Time for Compromise.
Will for Time.
Speaking to your heart comes Will.
But when we stopped speaking to our hearts..

That's probably when we have came to our last page.



Smile and move one please.

Thank You

Thank you for those times.
Those unforgettable encounters, the company we have shared.
Thank you for leaving a sweet chapter in this part of my life.
Thank you for the unending joy.

May be it'd be better to let it go, for it to glow in happiness.

 

Regards,

After so many years

It'll still be the same =)

 

For my little boy.

You've got to dream a little bigger boy. Dont be afraid to dream of something higher darling =).

Nothing else you can do..

Oblivion.

Have any earthlink come to think that sometimes it's better not to know the truth? To believe in that moment, which felt so important, to know that things were path out nicely for you, without you having to expect or plan anything for? Hide the truth and forget about your identity or what you've been going through?

I've been living in lies all my life. Lies that made me believe, that gave me faith and strength to carry on with what I was doing. I ran in believing I'll become national champion runner someday, studied real hard cause I wanted to be a fighter pilot my whole life, been a nice guy knowing someday it'll bring me to a nice girl, working and investing real hard now cause I wanna build a good home in future.

None of these actually came true in reality, I was better on water than on land. I had blades on top of me instead of flying at mach speeds. And probably all girls on this land favour materialistic desires more than a good guy.

Dreams are important, although it might not become real eventually, it sure brings you to many wonderful places.

Guess I've lost that believe since a long while, now it's time to head out there and find a new hope. Find meaning in what I'm doing now, I definitely can't find hope in this ever demanding workplace which eats ate up my youth and happiness. Neither in my house filled with 2 beloved parents which are expecting me to basket happiness for them. I believe there's still something out there to share happiness with or where joy actually exist.

Probably there's someone out there who will appreciate you for what you do. I'll believe in prayers once again.

Fairytales. I hope I could remain in them.

Why Man are happier than woman

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack…
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you,He or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes.
Men Are Just Happier People


NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.


EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.


BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.


DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!


- http://todaysjoke.net