Hello. Greetings.
So here's one joy of my life since a very long time. Hi bunny, they call me that after putting on Long Johns and doing all those Charlie Chaplin moves to instigate the audience. Got the crowd hyped up with my bunny outfit at the expense of my pride and face. Oh well, all for laughs, there were much more we would have done to get people laughing. I have a great night and God knows what you can imagine what we have done.
Anyway its been awhile since I arrived and coping well with everything here.
Words of Emotions
I know it may sound a little emo from here onwards, but I need this form of release. So excuse yourself if you don't wish to see the emo part of me.
What I am about to share is something truthful, something from the bottom of my heart have felt but not being able to express it openly in my workplace. Or no one really wish to listen to this weak part of mine right here and there's absolute no one appropriate that I could share this with except here.. No one have that spare time or patience to listen out.
But I think people who are able recognize and acknowledge weakness are the people who would able to go furtherest, instead of not facing their weakness. Ain't going to run away from this.
I miss loving a girl. Having someone to love and think all day. My life is really down without having anyone I love or really really truly, madly and deeply insanely in love with. I am powered by love, it is the very essence how all human being's positive natural motivation comes about. I love my Mum, I love my Sis but that's a different kind of love.
The feeling of wanting to live with her for eternity, to make her smile forever, make her laugh, share all my god knows what weirdo stories with her, listening out to her rantings, share a common interest, walk the world with her together or touch her soft cheeks. I miss the feeling of having a special girl that means a
World to me.
Although I never had a girlfriend but I once had (a bloody long time ago and not worth trying to recall those wounds) someone really special to me. I wish to have that again... to love her as if there were no tomorrow.
Honestly, as I was sitting through a dull lecture few days back, no information was going into my head although they were all very crucial. I had no life within me, no spark, no flame. Practically going through motions of the need to be there. We had a toilet break and I took a look at my friend's FB PM about trying to set me up with a person I have a crush on, my world just lit again. My heart skipped a beat when I saw that msg and started thinking of all the possible ways I could get to know her, could do things with her, could ask her or to make her laugh. After that toilet break, I was surprisingly energized and hyped out digesting all the knowledge that was taught. But that flame only lasted a few moments only coming down to Earth and coming to reality that its not actually possible with the distance and the "shy" culture Asian have. Ultimately, my friend didnt cared much either.
All I could do now is to pray. So lord, let me meet that special someone soon. I need that special person, let me bang to her into the streets, accidentally post a fb msg or whatsoever. Whatever means, how expected or unexpected it could be. If not I'll just be a dull hag until I reach uni in 5 years time. Ah crap. Oh wells.
I am not desperate, mind you =).
Trying with my best effort to put my thoughts into words, no confusions intended down here =).
Till next time.
