Had late night party yesterday night. Young and wild, nothing beats these people.

As usual, my eyes opened at 8am despite all the late sleep and fighting fatigue nights. Opened my eyes to a room filled with many sleepy head squeezed in a 3 room hotel.

Woke up today thinking it was a Sunday, cause usually our night activities only happen on saturday. Put on my shoes and rushed down to Perth City church which was only 10 minutes away. Thought I would be able to catch the 9.30pm mass. This 10 minutes of walk was the most scenic view of Perth I had seen in the last 10 months. I didnt realized they had natural wood high tension wires, well paved marble tiles or even hibiscus planted along these walkway.

I have walked along this exact path for at least 20-30 times, none of it was like today.

This was when I realized I've graduated and I'm back being Alvin again.

Did not really enjoy Perth to begin with. A tough moment I had thinking and concluding my stay here. A harder fact to accept what I achieved out of here. A even benign fact was that I realized I have been treating my coursemates as friends rather than competitors.

Now that I'm sitting in this church, sometimes I wonder if God really exist? In religion, good deeds are promised to have good returns. Good people are normally well treated and normally be treated well in return. But things are different here.

I regret not holding my breath long enough to put these friends as competitors. That I haven't had a strong mind to filter off other miscellaneous things other than flying. Cause I was afraid of change and changes that mum had warned me about?

But actually, sometimes its better to change for a bigger cause. And at the end of all this saga, return to be who I was.

Others don't define me, I defined who I am. Let's learn from this lesson and mistake I've made and not fall prey to these irrelevant things again.

Good morning world :)

I hope someone out there could feel what I'm feeling.

Hi Blog.

The lonely days are getting lonelier.
It's like there's no friend when it comes to fighting for our future, I give up on my organization long ago, lost my purpose in working for it. Totally disappointed cause most of the time people do things as an defensive act to protect their asses rather than a friendly act to improve things or as a beneficial ideals to innovate. Good people gets utilized and warn out, while bad people rose sky high and created their empires. Mum have always taught me that if you don't like a certain behavior towards you, don't be like them. But I'm tired of staying on the good side and getting bullied. There's no credit in being Mr Nice over here. Stones everywhere, fingers always pointing. A simple problem or task that everyone tries to avoid. A cost that was not paid by the responsible people. I can bare to see no further. There was no way I could reason things out to myself how it happened the way they happened.

In this land of kids where people play hide and seek, where kids rules and adults are treated like prisoners, I can bare to see no more. Strings every where, tongue shoe shiners and under table handshakes. When you heard of them, you can do nothing but shake your head.

They say if you can't beat them, you can only join them.

I'm going to be strong at the end of all these and survive every single moment of this. I'm here for my salary and go to a good home.

To my future wife and kids, will you blame dad for not being able to climb higher on his career for the morals that he cannot cope with? Gonna be smarter in my next course, outwit all these competitors around me and know how to protect myself more. I'm tired of seeing good people dying.

It's a lousy feeling to be outplayed by politics. I hate to loose, more than I ever want to win.

 

Believe in truth. Still.

Injustice. They are just everywhere without family and friends. How everyone preached about playing fair and sticking to the rules, even in soccer... there's something called red card. But in real life, your red card might just be your dying day.

Unfairness. It catches you when you are still so green and at disadvantage most of the time. The fight for money, for promotions, for pride and power is often so ugly. Morals twisted, respect toasted, friendship broken, bonds split and fingers starts pointing.

Why must human be like this in the end? Why cant people harmoniously live together without fighting for a throne? Why cant Thailand, one of the kindest country in the world, be the most successful country in the world? Instead why are the country with the greatest arms and highest fire power ranked the most superior in the world?

Fear is much more capable than love and respect when it comes to success.

So ugly and dirty.

Let's just continue to try my best and believe in truth and stay tune for what heavens have in stall for me =).
What belongs to me will definitely come and of course it still comes with a prize of working hard ^_^.

End of a very long and well deserved break

In this month, I've splurge quite a fair bit. On numerous activities which are eye opening but among these, there's only one single greatest take away - to be happy. As you grow up, finding happiness is really a great deal of task. With competitions, society's pressure, the fight to out win one another in any means... it can get quite ugly and dirty. But this break had open my eyes once again to realize that this is just an integral part of my life that I dont really have to believe in. It does not define me. I could be here with my soul working things professionally but I could still keep my character, keep what I was before, keeping my way of life, keep the things I love. I do not really have to change myself entirely =).

I still believe in good, meritocracy, love, justice and fair play. I believe ultimately those people who used ugly means to get up there will normally fall down very hard in the end. A simple life is good, I do not need a mansion to prove my ability neither do I have to be a billionaire to tell the world I've succeeded. It comes with a little luck and a little dirtiness. Nonetheless, if the opportunity comes knocking on my door one day, I'll embrace it with open arms =). Once again, I'm blogging here to announce to the whole world that I will be working my hardest and now my smartest. It's worth it =).

Bite the bullet!

Jairus

He's one of the stars of my life. When we competed years ago, I didn't know he was of such strong caliber, such strong character. There was this instant when both of us started our virgin paddling experience, we started almost together capsizing every other day in our ever unstable boat. Every time we fell we would get up but after a considerable amount of tries, I would normally sit on the shore while watching his countless attempts in the mastery of the boat. He was a worthy opponent, in fact now that I see - a formidable fighter. I think everyone in my time had seen him in action, his aspirations, his fight and his dreams, makes up a big picture of a respectable athlete in every Singaporean paddlers.

He inspired me, undoubtedly. I want to return to the arena of paddling after I sorted my iron rice bowl, representing Singapore is something I can afford for my country, a chapter of my story that I would like to write. Age 28 will be my prime, so let's work towards that. Meanwhile keeping myself fit.

‘I want to be grateful; I want to show my appreciation to all the people around me, and I want to appreciate and enjoy every moment of my life.’

Read more here

I guess it's seeing these things that keeps me alive. If my life was given in exchange to save 100 more lives, it will be worth it. I'll just keep counting and seems like it ain't so bad afterall =). Feel so blessed after hearing those news. There'll always a better plan for me =).

I can't stop thinking about u.

Xmas

Greetings Earthlings!

It's been long since I was able to talk lightheartedly and able to smile naturally without being shouted at or being reprimanded. I had 10 days of Christmas and a beautiful finale which stays as an special episode of this year, something that makes me scared but I would hold closely to.

In these 10 days, I learnt a new sport, catch up with all my close cliques, ate all sorts of exotic food, fought the sleepless nights, watched crazy Xmas, had a very sweet Christmas and a lovely, unforgettable company.
I've changed for the better because of you =). I realised during this short break trip that infact I have been really fortunate, one of better jobs around the place with apt payslip (though a poor life), one that is noble and fulfilling. Accepting this fate is hard but giving up will be harder. So thank you for the best present of happiness, I'll be counting more of my blessings than seeing things I do not have. =)

Merry Christmas everyone! Recommend all chaps this movie titled 12 dates of Christmas, watch it to believe yourself. Cheers!

When the heart stops beating

One of the hardest fall I had..

To be honest to the whole wide world, my heart stopped beating since I stepped here. It isn't like the excitement I get when I watched people on the court playing basketball, when I see the racing canoes, when I see people wind surf.

My heart stopped beating for any girl. Stopped beating for politics. Stopped beating for any purpose in life.
I'm truly sorry to myself. I was heartbroken when before I came here and it took away the best of me during the crucial times.

I'm truly sorry. Although sorry is never going to rewind history.

2 failures on my last week. That's 80% damage to my entire time here. Complacency.

From the top of the world to the valley of the deep

You know I started off being really shit hot. One of the cream of my crowd, aced every sortie.

Somewhere along the way I lost that touch, that feeling. That person who is feeling at the top of the world, being superior and always able to take care of others when myself is taken care off.

But my life is at stake. Failing one sortie after another. I'm feeling down and couldn't hold myself up. I'm needing comfort and love for some reason.

Falling shouldn't be an option from now on. 4 more short days only. Fight on!