The danger about living in the past..

Instinctively, probably out of emotions or general need for love, comfort or acknowledgement, we turned towards our past, recount and live within them.

Past love, past happenings, past happiness, past buddies, past decendants or things we had and lived with them in joyful moments for a period of time.

Unconsciously, those memories had became an avenue where we seek fulfilments or our own peace of mind. Being in these thoughts for too long impedes us of the joy we actually have around us, the present opportunities we missed because we have always lived in the past.

I have lived in the past for too long, be it love, accomplishments, results or close friends I've made, they have been circling in my head. I'm always missing happy times I had with the canoeist that I've been missing out the fun I'm having with my buddies around here. Always thinking about my primary crush that I'm missing out on better girls all around. Always indulging on my double gold that I don't get motivated to aim for anything more in life.

My present bunk buddy made me realise on this weakness of mine by being on himself. On the first day when we first introduced, we spent most of the time talking about his previous buddy. As much as I do not want to be affected by it, it just comes to me to try to be like his buddy-in replacement of the good buddy he once had.

It's dangerous to live in the past simply because it deprives of living in the present moment. I regret for all the things, friends or girls I've missed during these years. It's really shameful to have past them without noticing them..

About time to take another step forward and start on a whole new adventure once again =). Let's start fresh from now on diary. =)

My dad took this photo and I think it's awesome! Love the clouds above Singapore =).

We helped a tourist to search for the cookie factory at esplanade today =D.

The uncle on the taxi.

With my 40kg worth of equipments and gears, I packed my bags and left the place I have been for the past 6 weeks. Halted a taxi and sat from one end of the island to another.

During this journey, I had a long conversation with the taxi uncle. He recognised that I was a cadet when I was dressed in my 'penguin' attire and gave a long conversation about his army days. He complained about his officers and we both talked about our experience. Over the conversation, I realised how important are officers supposed to be competent, keeping ourselves constantly on the ball. Failure of doing so, will cause men like him to suffer. These people are good men, man who supports their family and stay loyal to their kids and wife.

Although being much younger than he is and probably less experienced than him, he showed so much respect to me. He carried my baggage all the way to the lift and even gave me discount on the cab fare. I didn't know that this job holds so much responsibility until this moment when I see it with my own eyes..

I'm touched and more importantly reminded about how much my orders in the future affect the people under me. Their lives, their morale or even their families.

It's about time I post again =).
Time flies and it's almost 4 months since I enlisted and this is the first time I got confined fined for my weekend. Being us, we must honour our weekends cause it's the most precious part of our training - rest and relax! So yup, it feels shitty having it taken away.
In order to kill time, I layed on my bed and started thinking about many logics in life and here I present to you about my thoughts. Lame, funny and somewhat humane or prudent.

How well do you know me?
Yeah, how well do you know me? How do you know you can work with me? How can I trust you?
If someone asked you these questions, what would be your instantaneous reaction? Your first reaction might be, I know your habits, character or simply saying.. yeah I know you well, well enough. Through our instincts we answer this questions by providing positive answers that comes to us about this person that's asking us this question. Today, I finally realized what does it meant by knowing a person, about how good you are with him/her.
As us being ourselves everyday, most of us have grave weaknesses since we are born and most of which are tough nuts to get rid of. The best way to understand a person would be understanding their weaknesses and protecting them from it. Having a buddy here made me realize this. So knowing his weakness, I must try to protect his back side.

Girls
You know when sometimes people say that you'll only treasure things once you've lost them? Girls or ladies, that's one important factor that is missing in all the botak head's life. Somehow, being deprive of being contact with the other gender makes a person yearn for more. I have never been so fond of talking to girls, back in school life the amount of talking I had was minimal and now it's like I'm making use of every opportunity I have to conversate to one. I want to learn more about them, talk to them and share with one about all my happenings. Feels good to be talking to one some how. Never had I been so fond about their company and it's kind of weird for this sudden burst of confound interest. Yes, I know I sound desperate and not to that extend which sickos are thinking of. I feel flirtatious for now and I think it's a good thing =D. My MJ friends say I'm a changed person and I totally agree man. What's why the alvin now? Damn right cool =).

What's for life?
First thing's first. I'm not exactly the kind of man who like money and fight for a living by earn mountains or billions of cash. Neither the kind who likes being a CEO or one who work extra hard for commissions or thicker pay slips. I don't wish to work in a profit organisation when I grow older. So my career choice is rather small with so few non-profit organisation in Singapore. I want to be part of the Humanitarian disaster aid relief and take part in operations that recover lives, save them and heal them. Yes, I'm not a doctor but I've got eyes of a pilot. This is my calling and I believe what comes easily are usually god sent. =)

I hit 8.30s for 2.4km. 8.15 is just 15 seconds away! I WANT TO HIT 8.15s!

This blog's dead by the writer's living his life on.
Meaningful life! "Outstanding" experience! A fullfilling life prophercy that is lived by many lives simultaneously, the writer writes on each day on a paper back journal.

Part of growing up is making choices and living the consequences
You know there's always this 1% guard feeling that the choices you are making are wrong. The ironic thing in these choices made are that there are never such a answer as PERFECT choice. So I made this choice of not entering university first. To work and earn a steady income before going into further academic studies. Of course this is a risky move.. what if I couldn't find a good job that pays me well and wouldn't it be better to take a degree and be employed. I decided to take on this bond and only enter the uni at 25.

The fear i have now is that I'll get a girlfriend 5 years younger then. WOULDN'T THAT BE PHEADOPHILE? Just a childish food for thought . =D

Those small funny moments.

There were these moments when my friends and seniors were my commanders. They were tasked to punish us for mistakes we have commited and these punishments are harsh and tough. So we smiled a little to one another when I was in pumping position. It's these little moments where I found meaningful and have a little bitter sweet sensation to it. Like both of you indirect sent messages to one another without others comprehending it.