Crying helps us get rid of this feeling of demoralization or whenever we felt lousy.
I am a man, in traditions.. we shouldn't be crying cause we have to shoulder many things in life. Put on a strong defense regardless of any rock threw at us. But I wasn't brought up this way, I was taught that all man have weaknesses and we should recognized and admit these weaknesses so we can do better.
But now and then again.. I break down. Not something I can control.. In front of the crowd, strong I stood. Presentations I carried on, tasks I carried out and responsibility I will never neglect. In my corner, I'll show my emotions. To no one shall they be heard or known. It's a lonely journey, no one can understand. Irony is that people around us who actually understands.. are our competitors.
I need a strong purpose in life. Something I'm willing to die for... again.
It's really embarrassing to be spotted.. crying.
I accepted the fact that probably life's going to be like that for the next few years until University. Now I just have to face this alone.
Study hard and harder Alvin. Don't give up. Your end will taste better with now being so bitter.
I don't want to cry anymore. I want to do things right.. The very first time.
Tuesday 31 July 2012
Sunday 29 July 2012
Saturday 28 July 2012
Wednesday 25 July 2012
This new inspiration and vibe I get from you...
Its one if the few common times after stepping down from a _, knowing that you did a bad _ cause something in yourself wasn't really right. Had a long debrief and spoke to a really wise instructor. One that I'm truly admirable of.
He explained to me that he could observe that I was shaken by certain things that happened in my life recently until one part he was angry and said... "can you fly like a champion athlete?!?"
He went on and said about random things without me explaining anything personal. He told me.. it takes a lot for a woman appreciate and love us for what we do here. It takes a woman with wisdom, with calibre and one that is willing to go through hardship with you. It wasn't that sharing of ice cream that created your bonds or bringing her to movies that created the strong relationship between the both of you, but the hard truth both of your went through that really bond. Cause in future the both of you will certainly be put to the test and many of them failed in the end, its the truth that can't be hidden in this high commitment workplace.
He continued to say .. after you chose that girl.. you will love her forever, protect and standby her regardless of anything. Even when ends meet, divorce isn't an option cause we are not people who 逃避现实. When we crash, we go down with our _, there's no such thing as a parachute, we are not given second chances. Marriage is not a game, its a commitment; more valuable than commitment.
He introduced me to golf and advised me to pick it up cause there are intangible valuable life lessons we can learn from this sport itself. The concentration and discipline routine is what is required of us in what we practise and do. To make sure we do then right thing cause we each only have one shot in what we do. If we miss, move on quickly train up and challenge ourselves with another course.
I'm inspired.
He explained to me that he could observe that I was shaken by certain things that happened in my life recently until one part he was angry and said... "can you fly like a champion athlete?!?"
He went on and said about random things without me explaining anything personal. He told me.. it takes a lot for a woman appreciate and love us for what we do here. It takes a woman with wisdom, with calibre and one that is willing to go through hardship with you. It wasn't that sharing of ice cream that created your bonds or bringing her to movies that created the strong relationship between the both of you, but the hard truth both of your went through that really bond. Cause in future the both of you will certainly be put to the test and many of them failed in the end, its the truth that can't be hidden in this high commitment workplace.
He continued to say .. after you chose that girl.. you will love her forever, protect and standby her regardless of anything. Even when ends meet, divorce isn't an option cause we are not people who 逃避现实. When we crash, we go down with our _, there's no such thing as a parachute, we are not given second chances. Marriage is not a game, its a commitment; more valuable than commitment.
He introduced me to golf and advised me to pick it up cause there are intangible valuable life lessons we can learn from this sport itself. The concentration and discipline routine is what is required of us in what we practise and do. To make sure we do then right thing cause we each only have one shot in what we do. If we miss, move on quickly train up and challenge ourselves with another course.
I'm inspired.
posted from Bloggeroid
Sunday 22 July 2012
Forgive and Forget
I realised. There are lots of heat when we were in the moment of doing things. But there after, cool off the heat, put down your fist. Out of office we are all bros, happy times we all hope to have.
Forgive and forget, the world would be a better place =). Everyone's here to be happy anyway.
Happiness. It's a common emotion everyone over the world is seeking for. Pure, innocent and liberated happiness.
Forgive and forget, the world would be a better place =). Everyone's here to be happy anyway.
Happiness. It's a common emotion everyone over the world is seeking for. Pure, innocent and liberated happiness.
Saturday 21 July 2012
Used the words that they used on me, let them tasted their Own medicine...
I... humiliated them like how they put me down..
But I'm not happy now cause I know this revenge is not bringing me anywhere =(
Lord forgive me...
I... humiliated them like how they put me down..
But I'm not happy now cause I know this revenge is not bringing me anywhere =(
Lord forgive me...
posted from Bloggeroid
Saturday 14 July 2012
The aging phenonmena
Went to the bank today to fill up an application to apply for a certain thing. Went into the bank and there was a long queue, not surprising cause it was a Saturday morning. Behind me stood 2 man in their 40s or 50s. One were complaining how the aunties in front of us should not have used this time to deposit their cash, insensitive and loud they were. The other was complaining to the attendant how disorganized the bank was and how his carpark coupon is expiring.
So when it was my turn.. when I was filling up my application, one guy said... "Where got people fill up application on counter one, an educated person should have filled in before queuing up".
If only I know where he parked his car, I'll call the summon auntie directly to his car.
Hate these people who think they own the world, regardless of how powerful or rich you are you dont have the right to rule people without respecting their rights. Who thinks they are always right and on top of the situation, no remorse, no humility, arrogant, not humble, do not put himself in other people's shoes. Makes it very hard to live with them.
Yet again.. guess most of all elderlies are like that. With their years of encounter, each are very confident in their own stories, things they have gone through. Cause their youth experience was their golden years, things they hold most close to. Glad my mummy is not like that... but daddy... I could understand. Probably he was lonely for too long, it cornered him to be this way. But as a person grew older, he tends to be less dogmatic, humble and friendly.
They say life's like a reversal. When you grow old, eventually you'll become like a kid again. Now I have 2 kids under my care. Haha =D. When I've chance, I'll share how these 2 naughty heads behaves. HAHAHA.
Btw, this is my dumping ground of emotions, dumping ground of angst and release. Take things I say at your own discretion!! My happy times are not here. If you feel like you're being pulled down emotionally with all these releases, do pull yourself away from this blog. Delete it, forget the address and visit other joyful blogs.
=D.
So when it was my turn.. when I was filling up my application, one guy said... "Where got people fill up application on counter one, an educated person should have filled in before queuing up".
If only I know where he parked his car, I'll call the summon auntie directly to his car.
Hate these people who think they own the world, regardless of how powerful or rich you are you dont have the right to rule people without respecting their rights. Who thinks they are always right and on top of the situation, no remorse, no humility, arrogant, not humble, do not put himself in other people's shoes. Makes it very hard to live with them.
Yet again.. guess most of all elderlies are like that. With their years of encounter, each are very confident in their own stories, things they have gone through. Cause their youth experience was their golden years, things they hold most close to. Glad my mummy is not like that... but daddy... I could understand. Probably he was lonely for too long, it cornered him to be this way. But as a person grew older, he tends to be less dogmatic, humble and friendly.
They say life's like a reversal. When you grow old, eventually you'll become like a kid again. Now I have 2 kids under my care. Haha =D. When I've chance, I'll share how these 2 naughty heads behaves. HAHAHA.
Btw, this is my dumping ground of emotions, dumping ground of angst and release. Take things I say at your own discretion!! My happy times are not here. If you feel like you're being pulled down emotionally with all these releases, do pull yourself away from this blog. Delete it, forget the address and visit other joyful blogs.
=D.
Glad you came.
The sun goes down, the stars goes up, all that counts is here and now.
Through loosing, we manage to find ourselves.
Through loosing, we manage to find ourselves.
Thursday 12 July 2012
A really sad day.
Today..
One of us left.
He was attrited.
I'm feeling really sad now. Imagine someone who have been with you to church, been out with you on weekends in Perth, someone who went into the jungles with you... Who sneaked out to party with you, who broke rules so we be a little of ourselves.
The times when we ate Maggie together for nine months of lunch.
The times when we leant that alcohol was water during Fridays.
When we ended up having to work together just to get through tough times together..
I hate this. Cause I had 14 guys who failed when I was the only one who got through. On the second round, I tried to help and it dragged we down to the point I almost failed. But this time I couldn't even take care of myself to help him.. :(
Now it's left with 6 of us and they are going to target one more of us..
I've not been performing lately.. Morales do affect I guess.
Got a marginal today...makes me wonder if I'm the next..
Work hard Alvin. For all the previous efforts put in, you do not come here to mess it up. Stopping here will only mean no future for you. The next entry for uni is only next year if you stop now, all that is left is only you, yourself and an empty space.
There's no turning back. Get back up and perform like how you used to be. Superhero boy :).
Things will fall in place for you if you worked hard enough. Just a tiny inch more of effort will do. Work smarter and tougher =).
Go tiger!
One of us left.
He was attrited.
I'm feeling really sad now. Imagine someone who have been with you to church, been out with you on weekends in Perth, someone who went into the jungles with you... Who sneaked out to party with you, who broke rules so we be a little of ourselves.
The times when we ate Maggie together for nine months of lunch.
The times when we leant that alcohol was water during Fridays.
When we ended up having to work together just to get through tough times together..
I hate this. Cause I had 14 guys who failed when I was the only one who got through. On the second round, I tried to help and it dragged we down to the point I almost failed. But this time I couldn't even take care of myself to help him.. :(
Now it's left with 6 of us and they are going to target one more of us..
I've not been performing lately.. Morales do affect I guess.
Got a marginal today...makes me wonder if I'm the next..
Work hard Alvin. For all the previous efforts put in, you do not come here to mess it up. Stopping here will only mean no future for you. The next entry for uni is only next year if you stop now, all that is left is only you, yourself and an empty space.
There's no turning back. Get back up and perform like how you used to be. Superhero boy :).
Things will fall in place for you if you worked hard enough. Just a tiny inch more of effort will do. Work smarter and tougher =).
Go tiger!
posted from Bloggeroid
Tuesday 10 July 2012
Monday 9 July 2012
Sunday 8 July 2012
Leave the past, look to the future! Weeeeeee!
Heyooooooooooooooooooo!
This was the first weekend out of so many weekends that we have 3/4 attendance down here in the little corner of Siglap =D. Stayed homey with my 2 white hair buddies.
Many people mistaken purpose as a good career but in actual fact it's actually something more simple.
Being happy is to live with your purpose, by living this purpose, it means to do something which is most meaningful to you. Follow your bliss, live in the moment. Many of times, it is indefinite that we do not have the choice to do things we hold most closely to. Due to responsibility or requirements, no one can ever protect that sovereignty like how our parents once protected us. That's pure love, true and unbiased love that no one else can match up to. When one day we grow up... it's our turn to return these love to our beloved children. Love them like how our parents loved us, protect them like how much our parents have protected us. No matter how tainted the society may be, when it comes to family, always stay truthful, realistic and sincere. Give without expecting anything in return, not to ask for the moon but expect to give the stars. We are the only person to blame of our own unhappiness. Love that person for who he/she is, good or bad, it's everything that I'll truely love =D.
My instructors once asked me, what do I value most in life? What's my purpose living till today. I answered simply... is to save lives, help people when they need most like how super man did. Helping a life is most meaningful to me. Although now in this environment.. helping others put me in serious trouble, but I'll continue helping people on weekends or whenever it's needed.
When someone made an unfair judgement against you, turn away from it. Cause they didn't had the initiative or to find time to get to know you. They chose the easy way to see whatever that was convenient. Turn away from these negative energy =).
Happiness ain't about materials, ain't about our goals or what we aspired to be, it's being your beloved ones, about sharing tiny moments and sharing about things we've encounter in our daily lives. It's about discovering together, seeing and exploring new adventures.
We should live life NOW, cause "now" is the time that truly exist. Future or past was not something we can control. So stay happy now.
Questions our thoughts. Make them real. Cause the negativity comes when we believed too much in what we thought instead of what was real.
Many people pursue for happiness, but right now, down here... I choose to create happiness =)
Thank you my family for all the sweet adventures you have taught me. From understanding the difference in culture to how different people lived together, from places of poverty to the riches, from east to west. Thank you for sacrificing so much for me. Sacrificing beyond your own comfort, beyond what you were able to manage. Thank you for the peace, the good roof and stability you've provided me, for the understanding too. Now I truly truly truly understand true love, they were always beside me... just that I never saw it.
I need to open my heart to be pure once again. Let's go out there and be awesome.
Many people mistaken purpose as a good career but in actual fact it's actually something more simple.
Being happy is to live with your purpose, by living this purpose, it means to do something which is most meaningful to you. Follow your bliss, live in the moment. Many of times, it is indefinite that we do not have the choice to do things we hold most closely to. Due to responsibility or requirements, no one can ever protect that sovereignty like how our parents once protected us. That's pure love, true and unbiased love that no one else can match up to. When one day we grow up... it's our turn to return these love to our beloved children. Love them like how our parents loved us, protect them like how much our parents have protected us. No matter how tainted the society may be, when it comes to family, always stay truthful, realistic and sincere. Give without expecting anything in return, not to ask for the moon but expect to give the stars. We are the only person to blame of our own unhappiness. Love that person for who he/she is, good or bad, it's everything that I'll truely love =D.
My instructors once asked me, what do I value most in life? What's my purpose living till today. I answered simply... is to save lives, help people when they need most like how super man did. Helping a life is most meaningful to me. Although now in this environment.. helping others put me in serious trouble, but I'll continue helping people on weekends or whenever it's needed.
When someone made an unfair judgement against you, turn away from it. Cause they didn't had the initiative or to find time to get to know you. They chose the easy way to see whatever that was convenient. Turn away from these negative energy =).
Happiness ain't about materials, ain't about our goals or what we aspired to be, it's being your beloved ones, about sharing tiny moments and sharing about things we've encounter in our daily lives. It's about discovering together, seeing and exploring new adventures.
We should live life NOW, cause "now" is the time that truly exist. Future or past was not something we can control. So stay happy now.
Questions our thoughts. Make them real. Cause the negativity comes when we believed too much in what we thought instead of what was real.
Many people pursue for happiness, but right now, down here... I choose to create happiness =)
Thank you my family for all the sweet adventures you have taught me. From understanding the difference in culture to how different people lived together, from places of poverty to the riches, from east to west. Thank you for sacrificing so much for me. Sacrificing beyond your own comfort, beyond what you were able to manage. Thank you for the peace, the good roof and stability you've provided me, for the understanding too. Now I truly truly truly understand true love, they were always beside me... just that I never saw it.
I need to open my heart to be pure once again. Let's go out there and be awesome.
Saturday 7 July 2012
My beloved family
I kinda understand now why sometimes we should keep our thoughts on certain issues and prefer to keep mum about them.. Cause it probably will lead to a while series of misunderstandings at the very end when the message was not delivered properly or holistically. And in the end it becomes unforgivable when things are received in a negative fashion or the positive aspect of the issue was not felt..
If it was concluded even before it was explained and it'll remain as it was, unexplainable.
The complication of the issues will just keep pilling without patience, time or forgiveness =). Found ourselves in this never ending saga... which ended with both ends loosing. =)
My family
I've come to realize how purpose driven my family have been.. We each had played a huge part in this community, helping people around us or helping others appreciate themselves better. This is not meant to be a Hao Lian session, just a time to smile at simple things in life =)
Mummy–
My mummy now is someone that saves baby. If you ever meet her in the society, it could only mean one thing... You have a baby that you don't wish to keep =). She's a councillor at an abortion centre. So before you decide to throw away a life my mum and her group of friends will be there to show you how good it its to be a parent. They are doing this not as a career but rather for the woman association of Singapore. Paid only a small allowance sum but contribute because of their expertise in the field of counseling or previous experiences.
On weekends, mum contributes to the mute society of Singapore. She studies hand signs to help the dead and mute. Kindness and tenderness is what my mum has =). My mum has always been a happy and cheeky person with a light personality, probably no mum in this world will be as childish as you, I've come to appreciate you much better =P. She easily forgives and accept things around her.
Daddy-
After retirement, my dad put a sum of his fortune to opening a active elderly aging discovery club. For the past 2 years he's been organizing courses, overseas trip, ktv sessions, producing videos about stories of individuals, road trips to Malaysia and light exercises like climbing bukit timah to engage the local elderlies to continue living happily despite aging,. Though dad have been tough on certain values of mine previously but I could see how tough and lonely my dad was in his early days. Respect my dad for his commitment into the family ;). For what he had done, I wont mind taking his thrifty habits. (Like I had to buy groceries for the house every week)
Sis-
Having fun and seeing you happy makes me happy =). Enjoy your life now before we discover the society together =). Congrats on the 2nd upper. Haha.
Me-
Whatever that I'm doing now is confidential. There's no me. There's only the plane, the system and my country. Someday "me" will be back and I'll love that "me" again =).
My mum now has been in Holland for the past week. Sis is in France for the past 2 month. Dad was in bintan for th e past 3 days. All paid by dad, except sis air ticket by me. Haha. Have to boast about this cause I'm proud about it. Hehe. The thing we enjoy in this family is that we understand the need to give space for one another to be happy. Not that we must always spend time together. Quality time was what we always look forward to =). Going fetch all these lazy bumps when they come back this weekend. Sis will be back next Friday with my E spirit wallet =).
Freedom is something that we give to one another, knowing that freedom brings a person further, open their eyes to more things in the world =). Whether is it seeing the skies, kindness to the disabled, seeing the different cultures of the world or to give happiness to the elderly, it's purpose we found that we boosted our own self esteem and spirits. We will be there for one another whenever we are feeling low =)
Though its l lonely now I'm sure ill see you guys soon :). 5 HOURS =P.
If it was concluded even before it was explained and it'll remain as it was, unexplainable.
The complication of the issues will just keep pilling without patience, time or forgiveness =). Found ourselves in this never ending saga... which ended with both ends loosing. =)
My family
I've come to realize how purpose driven my family have been.. We each had played a huge part in this community, helping people around us or helping others appreciate themselves better. This is not meant to be a Hao Lian session, just a time to smile at simple things in life =)
Mummy–
My mummy now is someone that saves baby. If you ever meet her in the society, it could only mean one thing... You have a baby that you don't wish to keep =). She's a councillor at an abortion centre. So before you decide to throw away a life my mum and her group of friends will be there to show you how good it its to be a parent. They are doing this not as a career but rather for the woman association of Singapore. Paid only a small allowance sum but contribute because of their expertise in the field of counseling or previous experiences.
On weekends, mum contributes to the mute society of Singapore. She studies hand signs to help the dead and mute. Kindness and tenderness is what my mum has =). My mum has always been a happy and cheeky person with a light personality, probably no mum in this world will be as childish as you, I've come to appreciate you much better =P. She easily forgives and accept things around her.
Daddy-
After retirement, my dad put a sum of his fortune to opening a active elderly aging discovery club. For the past 2 years he's been organizing courses, overseas trip, ktv sessions, producing videos about stories of individuals, road trips to Malaysia and light exercises like climbing bukit timah to engage the local elderlies to continue living happily despite aging,. Though dad have been tough on certain values of mine previously but I could see how tough and lonely my dad was in his early days. Respect my dad for his commitment into the family ;). For what he had done, I wont mind taking his thrifty habits. (Like I had to buy groceries for the house every week)
Sis-
Having fun and seeing you happy makes me happy =). Enjoy your life now before we discover the society together =). Congrats on the 2nd upper. Haha.
Me-
Whatever that I'm doing now is confidential. There's no me. There's only the plane, the system and my country. Someday "me" will be back and I'll love that "me" again =).
My mum now has been in Holland for the past week. Sis is in France for the past 2 month. Dad was in bintan for th e past 3 days. All paid by dad, except sis air ticket by me. Haha. Have to boast about this cause I'm proud about it. Hehe. The thing we enjoy in this family is that we understand the need to give space for one another to be happy. Not that we must always spend time together. Quality time was what we always look forward to =). Going fetch all these lazy bumps when they come back this weekend. Sis will be back next Friday with my E spirit wallet =).
Freedom is something that we give to one another, knowing that freedom brings a person further, open their eyes to more things in the world =). Whether is it seeing the skies, kindness to the disabled, seeing the different cultures of the world or to give happiness to the elderly, it's purpose we found that we boosted our own self esteem and spirits. We will be there for one another whenever we are feeling low =)
Though its l lonely now I'm sure ill see you guys soon :). 5 HOURS =P.
posted from Bloggeroid
Friday 6 July 2012
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)