Thursday 3 February 2011

When time stops

Ever since the day I shaved my hair and got ready for the most enduring journey of my life, I was ready for the worst. Similarly, my life stops there. In this period of Chinese New Year, the longest holiday I had since a long time, I woke up from my routine life, a life bounded by systems and rules.. I woke up for a moment feeling like a CIVILIAN. Just like everyone out here.

Time stopped on that day I chose to put my life on the line, to lead a life with a higher purpose. I've been really missing out a lot on life. Be it hanging out with close friends, going on a movie or go out with besties to do nonsense things, they have all been missing for quite sometime. I foreseen that this is just going to get worst with time, when everyone starts to go uni... it might be harder for me to click with them. I fear the loneliness, fear the ostracism and hate the me I've become sometimes. But what to do, they require me to be so hard, unkind and fierce.. from the hour i opened my eyes till I close them, I must behave like this. Oh, good thing they spared my dreams, I still will preserve myself in dreams =). Be soft, humble and sensitive like you always have Alvin!

Test are coming and I'm failing, after not holding a pen for almost a year, it feels awkward writing with one. Weird hand writings, slow critical thinking and incomplete thought process. My brains are having a hard time trying to be the me in college, totally like some secondary school kid. Meteorology is up next and don't fall short this time =).

Pull the jump shots and make the basket count, that was what jiao lian always shouted out to me.

Gambatteeee-ni!

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